Southern Utah Pagan

Vision Quest

2011-05-19T08:49:00.007-06:00

This posting is in preparation for an overnight vision quest retreat near New Harmony.
BACKGROUND
In many cultures, people go to specific isolated areas to seek inspiration, commune with nature and the devine. Especially with all manor of things getting between nature and man, an occasional trip to find that connection may show the natural world is waiting for us all the time!

This summer retreat will allow a chance to explore this connection, test one's endurance and bring together those who participate with a common experience. Even if the time doesn't lead to spontaneous inspiration, one will learn about yourself and the world around you.

Along with a beautiful natural area, this retreat will utilize a combination of traditional and psychological techiques to open the mind. These include isolation, fasting, staying awake, physical and mental preparation and meditation.

WHAT TO BRING
The focus of this trip is getting back to nature. So minimal gear will be needed. You will need layered clothes, shoes or BOOTS for short duration hiking and scrambling, a small daypack, a knife that has a large enough blade for some chopping, a lighter TESTED BEFORE THE TRIP,
parachute cord 50' roll, a blanket and ground cloth with strap or webbing to carry it, and bottles or canteens to carry a gallon of water. A compass is optional if you independently call directions,
although the guide should have one. Bring colored cotton thread that suits you or your quest and a stake with your name on it. Leave all electronic devices in your car.

FAST
The night before the trip, eat a good meal favoring complex carbohydrates (starches) and some proteins. Do not eat the morning of the trip nor during the trip. Do drink water and fluids without sugar and with low or no caffeine. This will result in approximately a 36 hour fast. If you are diabetic or have other medical problems that would be made worse with this, we will plan around it.

ARRIVAL
Meet at the announced location at ABOUT 7am. Take as few cars as possible. We will caravan to where we begin about a mile hike to the setup location. The guide will lead the participants to their sequester location that should isolate individuals from each other and (temporarily) from the outside world. Avoid other hikers, although the areas were selected to avoid other people not involved in the retreat.

If other people should find you, let them know you are on a meditation sojourn and don't continue the conversation or tell them there are others in the area.

SACRED SPACE
Participants will be conducted to an area that shows many qualities of nature and is sacred. Some introduction to the area will be done. There will be an invocation that will set the tone for the day to come. This space will be mirrored in future circles, even if away from this
spot! We will leave the threads tied to a branch near the spring to signal that we were there and to demonstrate our goals for the trip.

ISOLATION
To allow access to the natural world with minimal distraction, the participants will set up in a location away from the trail and other participants. When the guide directs you to where you start toward your sequestered spot, post your named stake so you can be found if you
don't make the sunrise return to the rally point. The actual location will be flagged. This is for safety, so the seeker can be found; but the spot should have the potential for shelter and inspiration. Make use of the day to reinforce natural and available shelter and gather wood for fire. Be careful and efficient because you are on your own.

This preparation is part of the exercise that attunes one to the environment, exercises creativity and solves problems. Try to be quiet so as to not attract the attention of day hikers or distract other participants. Make sure you have more than enough wood for the fire through the night!

AWAKEN
To release the mind, the participants should stay awake for the duration of the exercise. After a time, physiological changes result in the mind opening to other forms of perception. Make sure your camp boundary is known. After the sun sets, don't explore beyond the camp. With the altered perception comes coordination problems that might be dangerous wandering away from camp. So stay put! Keep the fire going through the night. Keep your fire a small size for efficient use of the wood and also so the seeker can see and hear the natural world instead of focusing on the fire and loosing night vision.

MENTAL EXERCISE
There are three levels of mindful meditation to be practiced on this retreat. This retreat is for examination and attention instead of asking or divining. You might be seeking inspiration in a certain area, but spend time observing and listening. So after shelter and fire are addressed as the sun sets, alternate with these exercises.

Clear the mind and examine what you are feeling. Don't just label these feelings but turn them and examine them before moving to the next. This is for the inward focus. Since the natural world is part of us, we should look within to find the voice of the divine that is deeper than our own voice.

With a quiet mind, start nearby and look, listen and feel the world around you. Pick a particular thing and let the mind use the senses and feel parts of the world around you. During this phase, one can do chores like tending fire, adjusting shelter, changing clothes layers or bundling in the blanket and ground cloth to engage the senses and be involved in activities. Although many forms of meditation want to exclude the world of the senses, we are literally communing with nature and want to hear that message. So reach out and examine the physical world and see what it tells you! When not involved in hands-on chores, reach out progressively farther with the senses and examine what is going on around you.

Once settled and with a quiet mind, reach out. Work beyond the canyon, the next hill, the sky and stars. Look and listen for that sense of spirit that connects everything. Reach out beyond the world we see and look, listen and feel for what is beyond and beneath. The spirit that binds all things together is beyond the senses, but is also right in front of us. We want to tune in to this as opposed to tuning out or constructing another existence.

After a time of cycling between an internal, external and transcendent focus through the night, one may get to a point where all three are found at once and the universe provides insight not normally available.

Don't ask for answers, just look and listen.

RETURN
Once day has broken, the participants should clean the camp, break down any shelter structure and make sure the fire is cold and buried and scatter unused wood. While being careful, work to leave the sequester site natural so others will not use it as a camp site. Pull any guide flags and leave no gear behind.

Pull your named stake when you meet the main canyon and return to the rally point at the mouth of the main canyon. We will wait until all participants arrive before having any discussion. For safety as much as sharing the experience, we need to stick together!

REINTEGRATION
If people are not at the rally point soon after sun-up, the guide will walk to each location and signal the time to leave.

Once everyone is at the rally point, we will have a round table discussion about the experience. After the hike back to the road, participants should write their thoughts and experience. We will have a breakfast of foods selected to break the fast without jarring the system. Some of this will be done at the rally point and more and warmer food will be made at the trailhead.

RECOVERY
Because of the lack of sleep, participants should get at least a couple of hours' sleep before driving. There will be a basic set of perception tests to make sure people are OK before we go back to the real world. The effects of the trip may not be fully realized for some time after the return to the regular world. Keep this in mind over the next few days, as further experiences might be forthcoming!

What is Ritual

2010-12-22T00:18:00.002-07:00

When I consider some of the things religions do as part of their ritual, I give it a look and see if that also applies to what those on the Pagan path do. I see a number of things people get out of religious ritual.

1) History

When one looks at the Catholic Eucharist, the history is that this reflects the last supper in which Jesus gave of himself and said "'This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.' In the same way also the cup, after supper, saying, 'This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me'." Referring to this history (in this case repeated in a letter thought to be written by Paul the Apostle), it ties a ritual to history.

2) Something shared within a Community

I am completely unfamiliar with the Mormon rituals of my neighbors. My understanding of Eucharist is the congregation is given bread wafers and wine as the body and blood of Jesus and each person participates in this. This shared experience helps the participants feel part of the larger religious community.

3) Alignment with Beliefs

Those who participate in this ritual feel a connection with their religion. In the distant past, Christian persecutors gave this ritual as an example of how early Christians advocated cannibalism. The interesting accusation of witchcraft is that witches used this same ritual but used the blood and flesh of children. Both are and were untrue, but it is interesting how people portray the outside group!

4) Meaningful to the Participants

There is always someone in the crowd who is completely skeptical and may only be impressed by the performance and not the meaning. But overall, this is the focus of most rituals. Part of this meaning might be focusing or praying to affect change, heal the sick or make the world better.

I find much more flexibility in many Pagan rituals. I find the following of history can be rigid or flexible, depending on the tradition. Many publications seem to feel most modern (non-indigenous) Pagans practice their spirituality in a solitary fashion. This is my tendency much of the time, but that also is part of the attractiveness of this path. If it does not work for me, I can always find something that does. (There is always someone knocking on my door giving me that option...) Alignment with beliefs can depend on the group for a public ritual or my preparation as a solitary practitioner. Casting a circle or meditation on the change of the seasons DOES pull together that I am part of a bigger and interconnected world. Given a choice, I DO prefer going outside. As I was mentioning to someone recently, why be part of a nature spirituality if one does not go out in Nature? (This is a biased observation; even the sound of traffic and the lights in my area have a palpable energy. But I do mean the natural world, less impacted by modern man with natural processes more apparent.)

That leaves making ritual meaningful. I sit here just before Christmas in the house where I grew up. The Christmas tree is lighted and decorated and the gifts are ready to be swapped. (The cut tree of old is replaced by an easier to handle artificial tree and my parents and I shared in getting it up and decorated.) The tree in the house is a German tradition from great antiquity. In this house, this is something we have always done as far back as I can remember. Although the commercialism seemed to start right after Halloween (Samhain on the old calendar), the message of the season is that of good will, hope for the future and generosity. The hope is this would start in the families and homes, then move out from under the trees standing in well heated houses and move out into the rest of the world. That to me is the meaning, regardless of what the tree is now called. We do not really have an overtly religious holiday. But although my parents and I see religion differently, the rituals brought this time of year seem to be meaningful all the same. This can be truly magical.

So as we now celebrate the rebirth of the sun and the hope that brings, lets do take the energy of the season forward. If we do our rituals and ask for assistance, remember we have to meet the universe halfway and not just wait for things to happen to us; we need to go out and make it happen! (The powers that be may then give help at the crucial time.) Then perhaps what we bring from our beliefs to the world will change it for the better.

When We Die…

2010-09-03T23:10:00.002-06:00

Today, I attended the funeral for Kane County Deputy Brian Harris.

If readers are from outside southern Utah, let me catch you up on recent events. Last week, a team of law enforcement officers served an arrest warrant on a house near the Utah/Arizona line near Kanab, Utah. The suspect, Scott Curley, ran into the desert to the south and Deputy Harris assisted in tracking him. About three miles from where Curley ran, Deputy Harris tracked him to a point where Curley allegedly ambushed the team and Deputy Harris was shot fatally in the head. It was reported later that Curley stole a semi-automatic rifle from a friend and that was the rifle used to ambush the team and kill Deputy Harris. After a four day man-hunt, reported hourly in local media, Curley was caught trying to break into an outbuilding.

I can’t say I ‘knew’ Deputy Harris as many other people in attendance did. But I met him a couple of times and can truly say this world has lost a good man.

At the funeral, the LDS bishop made an interesting metaphor that adds to my thoughts on this life and the next. He said that this world is not ‘home’ for the souls of man. This life is a place we go to leave home and learn, as a child does when they go away to school. But when we die, we come home to use what we learn in the next life. He also talked about the impending resurrection and working with and knowing God in a way one can not in this world. I found this metaphor intriguing. This gave comfort to his friends and family who apparently believed similarly. I, for one, truly hope Deputy Harris has found his home. I hope he finds a place of peace and comfort to continue to serve and be the man that made people laugh with his memory and cry at his ‘leaving this world unexpectedly.”

I can see the comfort this would give. Although I have a hard time with a lot of other things preached at this time, I felt some hope there was some place to go after this life and continue. For a brief moment, this whole episode did not seem quite so tragic. But then his oldest daughter expressed true grief when she said she did not know what she would do without her father...

But what do WE think?

I know one person that subscribes to my now sporadic articles is comfortable with nothing of us surviving death and all of our experiences and knowledge disappears into the ether. There is something to be said for that viewpoint, because we can not really prove any other option. I wrote a brief discussion piece a number of months ago about a ‘cosmic soup’ where all we have been or known goes back into the cosmic soup of life around us (some Buddhist and Hindu ideas of approaching a Godhead explore similar ground in more of a structured way) and a dip from this pool for another life might have something of us going on into the future. Some Celtic stories go back and forth between reincarnation (Taliesin) and going to a land beyond the sea (Tir Nar Nog). I just saw a National Geographic Channel rundown on the Greek god Hades. The description of the underworld realm of death included the entry portal of Erebus where the Wandering Dead live caught between worlds, the Asphodel Meadows where ordinary people go to a grayish reflection of this world, Elysium where the good and heroic go to rest in comfort for eternity and Tartarus where the unjust go to spend eternity in torment. Although this gives a one in four chance of going somewhere comfortable, there is still the reflection in this life wondering if one’s life is extraordinary enough to make it to a land of comfort. Or what about recycling? I find myself considering that we may keep coming back until we get it right. THEN we join with the Universe. This could lead to procrastination and not doing the best we can with this life. But who knows? Maybe we have already been here a number of times and this is the time to get it right?

So, what do we as Pagans say to comfort those who loose someone? What story do we tell?

I hate to throw a lot of mundane stuff into these discussions. But for those that are local, let me pass on this piece from a local news source-
“A fund has been set up the State Bank of Southern Utah (in support of Deputy Harris’ family). Donations can also be made to any Zions Bank under the name Brian Harris Family starting Monday.”

Officer Down Memorial Page for Deputy Brian Harris

Hiking Water Canyon

2010-07-17T23:43:00.001-06:00

There is a canyon a bit east of my new home. I have driven by it and decided a couple weeks back to hike it. This Water Canyon is north of Hildale, Utah. For readers not from southern Utah, Hildale is one of the twin cities of the Fundementalist Church of Later-Day Saints. The most apparent feature that separates this group from other Mormons is they advocate polygamy, specifically polygyny, aspiring to more than one wife. The guys tend to wear long sleeved shirts and jeans while the gals wear long 1850s era prairie dresses with long sleeves.

On this particular day, it was apparent that I was an outsider. I was wearing shorts and a tee-shirt and a tan boonie hat over hiking boots. As the locals were playing in the water with the guys still suited and booted up and the gals hiking their dresses up to at least try to keep them out of the water, I slathered on a double handful of sun screen and hiked up the canyon. The stares were apparent and one guy asked what I was doing there.

I started rather late and definitely did not take the steep exposed climb into account. As the first shadows fell in the canyon, I was walking across a sand bank above a 200 foot drop-off. The wind was rather noticeable and quite spooky. A group passed me that said they were pressing for the top and planned to descend in the dark. I got to a place that was quite spectacular with the view and had a sudden dash of anxiety. People who know me know I usually do not have a problem with heights, but lately it seems that is becoming more apparent. As I was starting down, sand poured out from under my feet and the wind made me feel like I was falling. Anxiety gripped me and all I could hear was my own heartbeat in my ears, in spite of trying to adjust my breathing. Almost as suddenly, I heard the water rushing down the canyon and the sound of the wind blend together. After a while, the sound of my heartbeat eased and seemed to blend with the wind and the water. This was such a profound experience; I find I had to write about it. It seemed I suddenly left behind the stuff that usually takes up my conscious thought and felt part of the world around me. At that moment, I was NOT the outsider but was part of the natural world. The trip down was a lot more fun after that!

I continued down the canyon, including chimney climbing down a section and scrambling a bit too. (This was probably an indication I was off-route…) At some point, I started playing a penny whistle I had with me. I found kids from Hildale are not familiar with penny whistles and I worry that I was not a good ambassador for penny whistle players to the twin city crowd. But perhaps my fun and joy outweighed the lack of virtuosity.

I take away from this a profound experience where I felt part of the natural world instead of just watching it. Also, it seemed to me the Hildale crowd enjoyed the area too. My experience has been these people that seem to have a veneer of the 1850s tend to use motorized vehicles (like utilities and all-terrain vehicles) indiscriminately. On this route, there was some sign of that and some trash left over. But the people I saw seemed like they would take litter out instead of adding to what is likely just a few people. So perhaps there is some common ground. Also, it would be a bit hypocritical of me to comment on their 1800s clothes when I take inspiration from the past for peoples who lived closer to the land, and I have been seen once or twice in a kilt!

Midsummer

2010-07-17T11:29:00.001-06:00

I hosted a Midsummer event near Parowan Gap last month. Typical of my personality in the mundane world, I had quite a production planned and did a lot of preparation.

The early part of the evening was to watch the lecture by an archaeoastronomer who makes a very convincing case that there are calendar markers in Parowan Gap. The lecture was the best I have seen in the nine years I have attended this event! He went beyond the solar observation discussion that was apparent at midsummer and went on to discuss lunar and planetary observation. I personally believe ancient native cultures made specific observations, but often ask, when there is so much detail projected on them by modern scholars, if there was any benefit to them to know where the planet Venus is. Or if perhaps they just observe it and record it in some way. The sun and moon are definitely calendar-friendly, and that part of the discussion was very interesting.

Back at the camp, we did our own thing having to do with tying into the season and acknowledging the elements coming together within us and in the outside world. We also did a healing observance for the Gulf and the Red Butte Creek oil spill near the Jordan River near Salt Lake City. This for me went well and I hope it had a similar impact with the people that attended. The wind threatened early to make this really uncomfortable, but similar to other times out there, the weather turned around at just the right time and we had a good evening.

The bummer for me is attendance was sparse. It seemed things came up in the real world with many people and summer might be a really busy time. But the group where this was announced is quite extensive online but seems to be diminishing when it comes to the seasonal events. Or it could be the detail and scheduling that rules my regular life might rub people the wrong way. For those who attended, I thank you and hope my outlook matched yours on this day. For others, what do we need to do to get you to the events?

New Post Coming

2010-05-22T15:03:00.002-06:00

There has been a lot going on lately and I have not put my thoughts down in writing. I have some things coalescing from the last few weeks that I will put down. So stay tuned!

Meanwhile just something to ponder. I drove to the Washington, Utah Barnes and Noble a week ago. When I left home, I remember my two bumper stickers on magnetic backings attached to my rear bumper. One said "We are part of the Earth and it is part of us. Chief Seattle'" and the other said "If you can't find it within, You can't find it Without". The Chief Seattle quote seemed to be missing when I came out of the book store.

Now, it could be this was the time for this sticker to blow off or fall off. Or it could be someone took the sticker off for some reason. Either way, it is interesting the self reflection message stayed and the overview being part of something bigger is gone. I will continue to reflect on where to find oneself while I hope the message about being part of the Earth and it part of use finds those who need the message the most.

Natural versus Supernatural

2010-04-10T11:01:00.002-06:00

First off, for the few people that do follow my writing, I need to apologize for having such a long break. Different things at work and life invaded on my writing time.

Recently, I had an interesting discussion about a supernatural encounter my friend relayed. I listened and was taken by her strong belief she had an encounter with a supernatural being. She described a faceless shadow that was quite scary that she saw in her room lying next to her when she woke up. This brought up an ongoing balance I find myself doing between the world of science and proof and that of belief, both in a greater power however we see it and things beyond our normal perception. I personally would relish and treasure an encounter with some sort of supernatural being where I was completely convinced it was such a being. But so far, I have not had such an experience.

Before I could stop myself, I said this sounded like a classic sleep paralysis illusion. At the same time, I also feel that the form this could take could indeed be related to some other influence that guides how our mind sees it. As many people say, we make our own reality every day and I really appreciate the profound impact this experience had on my friend regardless of what I might call it. The experience is something meaningful and belief affirming to her, regardless of my ability to understand it. And I want to be open-minded and learn from others' experience.

A similar historic example is Joan of Arc. At an early age, she said she saw and heard the voices of three long dead saints. These voices directed her in a way that now is remembered five hundred and seventy nine years later. Were these voiced real? The philosophical answer is Yes, because she thought they were and they inspired her to do great things beyond what she would have otherwise done. The skeptical ‘Darwin’ part of my pen name would consider that the hero of the Hundred Year War was a high-functioning schizophrenic. But this really is less of an issue than how her beliefs solidified her resolve and took her place in history.

As I follow my path of discovery and self-discovery, I can not discount the scientific but seek to find and accept the miraculous.

T'is the Season...

2009-12-22T00:49:00.000-07:00

Today is the winter solstice, midwinter, when the night is longest of the year and the daylight hours are the shortest. From here the days get longer and the sun starts to work its way back higher over the horizon.

Also today, Fox News ran a Cultural Warrior segment related to this time of year-

http://www.foxnews.com/search-results/m/28027423/tis-the-season.htm

(The video did not come up in my borrowed MAC. If there is no video, one can catch the gist by clicking the "automatically generated transcript" link.)

The atheist group commissioned a sign in Las Vegas that stated "Yes Virginia, there is no God" and makes her point that she and her group are certain that there is no empirically provable God and the whole notion is archaic. After a discussion about the holiday falling near winter solstice, the host Laura Ingram asked what the atheist representative would think if a Catholic group commissioned a sign saying "Christians give your winter solstice meaning, (signed) Jesus."

This argument has some entertainment value and it is obvious that both people zealously maintain their point of view. What also is apparent is both comments are designed to be provocative and not necessarily sell either point of view. I have written my part about feeling discomfort with occasions regarding other people's spiritual views and have recently had people share their points about meeting the occasion for what it is and the function it performs. The Christmas season (as irritating Christians was the point of the ad...) for many IS a religious holiday as well as a time to celebrate and reaffirm family ties. There is also a lot to be said for finding the spirit of giving and for a specific time of the year thinking of others ahead of one's self for the neighbors and pagans. This should not be lost in the midst of people trying to find the most shocking way of displaying their point of view.

I, for instance, am more than happy to share the season and invite comment here on my blog and see no practical value to being flagrant about my views. If doing so would make the world a better place, it might be worth it. But I do not see any such benefit from the sign, except reaffirm this group's view as it insults a large number of people in the community. Not being a spokesman for pagan views, I can not speak for others. So I will break a writing rule and use "I" often to speak using myself as an example. What if I start the season being more efficient with my energy use? What if I keep a cleaner yard and be a better neighbor? What if I do my exercises and meditate regularly, and gain better control of mind and body that will make me a calm voice of reason in a sea of noise and violence? What if I compare (and contrast) ideas and beliefs instead of concentrating on how we worship and whose way is better? I could then in my own small way both better myself and (to plagiarize a bumper sticker) be the change I would hope for the world around me.

With any luck, I can do this. This may be the best way one has to make change by starting with oneself. The sign this atheist group spent a lot of time and money commissioning essentially tells the world they don't believe in what their neighbors believe. It does not really advance what they do believe and will change no one's mind. As the season turns, I hope to start a change with myself, and maybe that will be contagious!

May the Blessings of the Elements Earth, Air, Fire and Water and Deities with what faces we see be on us all and May we see, recognize and appreciate those Gifts!

The Myth of the Cosmic Soup

2009-12-08T16:02:00.002-07:00

I can tell I forwarded the blog link to the right people this month! Thanks for the thought-provoking comments! Discussion like this is why I started this blog close to a year ago.

Let me throw out a story. This has been coming to mind for quite a while and seems to go to the points brought up in comments to the last post. Parts of the discussion from Rose had to do with finding the myths from people’s beliefs while at community events. Also, Bell made mention of “talking to my higher self” presaging her finding ritual expression. I read an article a couple of years ago that discussed, in satire, how to start your own religion. It started with a captivating story and then built on it with ritual that reflected the story and dogma that followed the rituals. It was rather clever and seemed to reflect a lot of things going on today, although the origin story he used was a thinly disguised and augmented version of Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. It got me thinking about myths that answer some of the basic questions.

Once there was Life on a large scale. Initially it started as energy that cooled to become matter. Then the organs of this Life were stars that coalesced and broke down a number of times since the Big Bang. More complex chemicals were made from their destruction. There was tremendous energy available and which was released, but it was without form. These complex elements became rocky planets and gaseous atmospheres that allowed more complex chemistry to form the building blocks of life as we now know it. But chemistry on its own can not know itself or the world around it. So the energy infused and drove the chemistry of life, driving it to evolve into more complex forms of both plants and animals, but not forgetting the larger scale Life from which it came. Early on, there was no death. The early living things would build on earlier features and continue to develop without the concept of death. But eventually the forms became so complicated and complex and more self-contained that the mechanical machines of Life could only last for a finite time. The chemistry would not be renewed except to feed these machines and would cause errors in healing and reconstruction as they age. (Bones rebuild themselves every four years. But they reconstruct based on the present design and condition. So we do not get a perfect new bone every four years; we get a reconstruction over old injuries and introduced errors influenced by their use.) But the energy that drives these bodies would be eternal.

But the machine that the spirit drives eventually has to die and be recycled.

So where does the spirit go when the machine finally succumbs to age and breaks down for good? The energy that motivates the universe is still out there. What if the spirit that drives a living machine goes back to the energy of the universe (the Brahman in Hinduism, the unchanging infinite source)?

The infinite energy of the universe is hard for people to see or imagine. So they make their own idea or construction of what this energy is. Some see it as the Michelangelo image of God as a gray haired perpetually old man reaching out to give the spark of life to man in the form of Adam. Some see it as a Mother Goddess who gives birth to life and to whom all life eventually returns to be reborn. Some see the various facets of nature as Gods or Goddesses representing these characteristics. Like a radio station for a particular topic, these forms are how humans try to communicate to a greater consciousness. Some people do not see the energy at all and just look to the mechanics of how the world works; first with a basic view of how things work, then Newtonian physics and now with Quantum Mechanics on the small scale and Relativity on the large scale. Science continues to search for a Unifying Theory that brings small forces and large forces together. But the further the mechanics are explored the further the actual spirit of Life seems to be out of reach. Could it be that while the tendency is to break things down into their component pieces the mechanic theorist looses track of the Big Picture where everything has a common source? Taking things apart to explore subatomic parts and then sub-subatomic realms may be like taking apart a sand castle to the point the sand actually slips between the fingers to reform as needed into something else. One thinks the grain of sand is the basic building block, but the Whole is truly more than the sum of these parts.

So people pray to a God outside themselves or a Goddess that gives birth then to whom the spirit returns. Could it be the actual energy that IS our consciousness is the common link between EVERYTHING that is alive, not just the people, animals and plants, but also the rocks and Earth and the Universe? What if part of this energy is contained in the machine we call our body only occasionally realizes that it is actually part of a larger Whole because the machine feels finite when the spirit or soul is actually infinite? And will it eventually rejoin the Whole to be re-dealt out again or stay part of the Whole, part of a big Cosmic Soup of Life? Will the experience of a lifetime within a body be lost forever or might it stay together when a unique and discrete life is needed to be formed again? We can train ourselves to both be receptive to this energy and to seek it out more clearly. But it is not the loud calling of bodily desire but the quiet stillness that shows rather than tells that we are part of something much greater.

So that is a story. It is completely un-provable yet can not be completely disproved either.

“Spiritual but not Religious”

2009-12-06T09:18:00.002-07:00

I have been a bit slow to update my blog due to a lot happening. This seems to prove the point that change is inevitable!

Recently over the Samhain holiday, I visited with some of the Alliance people for both a party and observance of those who have already passed on. When asked to give people who have meant a lot to me who passed on, I concentrated on people I have worked with and one of my best friends who I still miss for his humor and ability to put what seems like very serious issues into perspective. We celebrated the people who have passed on (in the language of my neighbors) and who meant a lot to us and then dedicated ourselves to changing for the future.

Soon after Samhain, the wife of a friend passed away due to a long bout of lung cancer. I went to her memorial service and found I was not talking the language of the mostly Protestant Christian people around me. My friend would label me as I did recently in e-Harmony as “spiritual but not religious” and does not know about the Pagan path I am exploring. I feel we take a break from this life and come back until we get it right. That works well for me, but I can not really engage in this type of discussion with my friend at such a time. As he read Psalm 23 and got comfort from this, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” This fourth verse especially grabs the listeners as memorial services. There is much imagery that would appeal to Pagans in Psalm 23; lying down in green pastures, lead beside still waters, walk through the valley of the shadow of death, annointest one’s head with oil, cup runneth over as examples. I tend to feel that the God and Goddess look different to me than the way my friend sees them. But I can add my desire to comfort him and his family to that of the other people and remember his wife and celebrate her life as well without announcing that I do not see the divine in the same way. My friend and his wife raise horses. It was interesting to me that the horses and two donkeys were quiet for the somber sections but chimed up on the parts where people were giving rememberances of my friend’s wife. As it was, everyone was outside because my friend’s house could not seat all the mourners and we were exposed to the weather. I was concentrating on the weather and asking for the weather to miss us. A storm gave some light rain, but held off until the service was over. But as it goes, the weather came back with a ferociousness that made up for holding off for two hours. Balance was maintained...

So again I stiffled my discomfort in situations where I find myself at Christian cerimonies but find common themes where I can add my feelings and participate.

Going back to when I started this blog hoping to stimulate discussion, I indicated I am very pragmatic about my beliefs. Generally, I work in a profession that looks for proof and scientific arguments, but I find there are questions that science can not answer. One of my scientific heros, Carl Sagan, felt a discussion of death and afterlife is scientifically unprovable. Since he is now dead, he now knows the answer but has not been able to publish his results. On the spiritual side, I hope my friend’s wife finds comfort after the last year of pain. I hope she realizes and benefits from the love of her family and knows how many lives she touched. In this way, she will live on. The minister at this service (who met her while she was ill) said she wanted to visit with everyone before she died and felt she had “taken care of business” as best she could and found it was time. Where she (or we) go from here is something she only knows. Hopefully, it is a place of rest and reflection.

Fall has Fallen

2009-10-08T22:18:00.001-06:00

I was away for a time just before Fall passed on the calendar. It seemed it was still summer when I left, but the cold nights of Fall were waiting when I returned to Cedar City. There was color in the trees that was not there when I left. Now, after very high winds (another sign of Fall), the leaves I usually see from the house are gone.

Fall causes one to reflect on the past year and things that have come to fruition and have been harvested. As the rest of the world seems hit by hard economic times, I am very glad to have a job and make a comfortable living. I tend to dwell on how it is not perfect but continue to be glad that I have a job and home. My goals for the year were not very clear, so it is hard to tell whether they came together or not. It seems I was striving for more understanding with my boss and coworkers. That may have come together a little bit, but I have to admit more needs to come from the inside out instead of expecting the world around me to change.

The years I spent having a feeling for the natural world and not connecting with others that felt the same way has taken its own toll. But this year, I am happy to say I have met like-minded people. Although I do not see eye to eye with every view, in this realm I feel some satisfaction with my new friends. It is somewhat difficult to have “perfect love and perfect trust”, to use a wiccan phrase, with people I have just met. Also I am in a job where one questions people’s motives and background. While some of that continues to be self-preservation, when I am around the fire with these people I can leave much of that behind. So the harvest for this year is the new friends I have made and getting out to meet more of them…

Aftermath Mill Flat

2009-09-02T23:31:00.001-06:00

As I write this, the Mill Flat Fire is somewhat contained after a rapid increase in size last Saturday. The fire started about a month ago according to the news and was allowed to burn to support resource benefit, specifically clearing of dead wood to improve wildlife habitat and reestablish aspen stands. It went from a 4000 acre fire that was being allowed to burn to clear underbrush and dead wood to over 8000 acres in hours, pushed by high winds, that threatened homes and lives and burned three homes and a number of out buildings in the community of New Harmony. One guy described a harrowing evacuation and waiting to see if his house was still there (it was). He said to the reporter “In my lifetime, the landscape will never look the same.” While the situation is tragic, this statement misses a very important point. A forest specifically and the natural world in general is a dynamic living system and is NEVER the same. One of the reasons the fire burned so hot is BECAUSE fire was suppressed in the area for the last seven or eight decades and fuel was allowed to build up.

Some would say logging would have reduced some of this fuel, and I honestly can not argue that point in particular. But keeping fire in its natural role in this forest would be the more long-term solution. One concept that is lost on many people is something that pagans try to work into their practice, recognizing cause and effect. Reducing fire does for a time keep things park-like for some time, but vegetation and trees continue to grow, crowd each other out and then die from disease or bug kill. Then a catastrophic fire will be all but inevitable. When I consider what the characteristics of the magical element of fire are, I usually think of energy, passion, drive, and action. As I mention in a previous post, I see a duality like that of the Morrigan in Irish folk tales. She is the harbinger of death in battle, but also brings the fertility of streams and rivers. Fire can be good as we see the energy of it, or it can be destructive. But with this destruction comes a chance at renewal. That is a hard sell to someone who lost their home and personal property…

People will argue the points and try to limit or eliminate the use of managed fire, seeing only the risk and the destruction (that seemed either through the caprice of nature or the skill of the firefighters was very limited). But they miss the point that forests are dynamic and fire is a part of it that has been missing for too long. I suggest a review and a moderate response to these policies and their application on this incident. Resist the urge to load up the blame wagon!

To the New Harmony resident who feels the landscape will not be the same within his lifetime I say wait a couple of years; it may be BETTER!

What is a Pagan?

2009-08-19T21:24:00.003-06:00

While at a ‘hands across the pass’ Lughnasadh gathering, I had a bit to drink as People from Cedar City joined an Alliance of pagans from Saint George. The ritual part of the gathering was rough in spots where different traditions mixed, but overall the fellowship and camaraderie was fantastic. This was in the woods between the two cities. Being close to Nature, regardless of the name given her, and the people together made it special. There were differences in the groups, with the most obvious being the People seemed to have more men involved and the Alliance group seemed to be less about historic traditions and more about nature and finding one’s own path. Also, early in the evening, one of the few Alliance males who knows the Cedar People gave a quick rundown of people moving between groups and who has left to form their own groups or left altogether.

One of the many things about the Pagan path that attracts me in my spiritual exploration is the individual focus; there may be leaders and elders, but there is not a huge structure or hierarchy as there is with my neighbors. The structure seems almost as important as the tenants of the faith with the surrounding Mormon faith. There are hives, like Fundamentalist Church of Later-Day Saints separating early from the Young-led mainstream church. But even there the structure and organization, as well as business interests, seem to follow across many generations of leaders and followers. Using Wicca as an example that seems to play out locally, Gerald Gardiner apparently collected sets of beliefs from local witches and combined them with other beliefs from his vast world travels and contemporaries. Then his followers hived to form other Gardinarian groups as the local groups got too big. Some formed their own versions, Alexandrian Wicca, for instance while others came and went or went their own way, like Doreen Valiente. This seems to eschew structure in favor of individual belief. But there are still common themes that attract me and others to the Pagan path.

One of the things that was apparent and was brought up during the night was many participants were married presently or had families, with the kids being exposed to Pagan paths. The understanding was the children would get the flavor of the path of their parents but would eventually find their own path to spiritual understanding and connection to what drives the universe and brings all living things together. One teenaged girl knew her step-mother’s spiritual views were different than those around her in the world outside the gathering. But she did not understand those views and (similar to my experience in other religious settings) did not immediately get the ‘articles of faith’ from observance of Lughnasadh rituals performed. Late into the night when many of the people were not at their most erudite, she asked the basic question; what is a Pagan. One of the longtime members of the People replied that to the outside world, a Pagan was someone that is not of the predominant faith, as the Romans considered the surrounding people or a label many Christians give to non-Christians. I added that followers of nature-based spiritual paths have adopted this name to reflect how we are not Christians and are following a path that may be an older (or in some cases newer) natural view. I had a sudden epiphany where we call ourselves Pagan in a way that Americans called themselves Yankees at one point. During the instability around the American Revolution, the story goes, the English called people born in the American Colonies (usually in New England) Yankee Doodles as a disparaging term. American Revolutionaries adopted this term and called themselves Yankees to distinguish themselves from English Nationalists. So today, we nature-based religion seekers accept the disparaging term of the past to reflect current pride and a blending of the past with an outlook to the future.

For the two people that are followers of my blog and those that read but are not commenting or following, you know I have my own beliefs and found certain aspects of modern Paganism match them. Religion and Spirituality tend to answer questions like “where will I go when I die?” and “what makes me an individual?” and "what do we share with the world around us?" where science tends to answer more mechanical questions like “how does my body work?” There is tremendous overlap and that tends to be the modern friction between analysis and faith. Also, feelings and intuition have surely led to our species’ survival, try going into a courtroom and saying “I know he is guilty because I see it in his eyes and read it in his aura!” There is room for inspiration, but the world around us requires proof and analysis. What I get from meetings like this is a chance to have community like my LDS neighbors, but be able to go out and still seek my own path.

As it was on Lughnasadh evening, what we were doing out there does not really distinguish us markedly from my neighbors who go to church and end their statements of faith and belief with “I say this in the name of Jesus Christ…” except that we did a different ritual and, in this case, did not really expound on a religious lesson. Our observance showed a connection to a distant past but our camaraderie and location of our spiritual communion showed we are a part of nature instead of a force above or outside the world in which we live. Although the Alliance is a collection of people from different paths that say it differently or in a different order or language, the People include the Nine Noble Virtues, the Wiccan Rede, the Thirteen Wiccan Goals, Crowley’s Law of Love and the Golden Rule as their guiding tenants to encompass the previous paths of their members. So, instead of the Pagans around me on this summer night showing the Latin etymology of being country-dwellers and therefore ignorant and unprincipled, we Pagans bring an ethical standard that includes taking responsibility for their own actions.

That is a very conservative view of which we can be proud!

Destruction and Renewal

2009-07-22T23:34:00.001-06:00

With fire season not very destructive this year and mild weather being almost the norm, I find I am taking some time to reflect on fire’s role in Nature. Two years ago, the Milford Flats Fire made history as Utah’s largest recorded fire. It really looked like a disaster at that point! The countryside was black and some areas looked sterile like they would never grow green again.

This year, the fire area looks green! There are the standing dead trees in some places that show where the fire was, but overall it is an amazing comeback and an example of our living and healing Earth. On her own, the Earth is amazing and may yet show everyone she is alive and we are along for the ride. There was some help from aerial seeding and some clearing too. But areas that saw no intervention from people STILL came back. So the destruction from what was a catastrophic fire made way for new growth. This is a lesson from Nature.

In myth, there are a number of Gods and Goddesses that show this trend of being both a destroyer and giving renewal. The Morrigan from Irish-Celtic stories has this reputation. She goads people to war and uses magic of the ages to confuse and disorient the armies that stand against her people. But she also straddles the River Boyne and makes love to the Dagda as a sign of gifts of the land and the sovereignty she bestows. She is usually portrayed as a triple Goddess with various others and is shown often as a hag with the others being a maiden of the land aspect Macha and a wife Badba, or can be on her own as one who foretells doom or tries to turn the tide of battle. She can also change shape and take on the appearance of various animals or switch from an old woman to a young woman. This comes from the land though, as the Earth can be both nurturing and destructive, but is ever changing.

So as with the stories of old, look both at the connections and results in the world around us, not just the immediate effects.

Anasazi Sickness

2009-07-22T22:57:00.002-06:00

This is a reprint of a recent Salt Lake Tribune article. This seemed to reflect some of my thoughts on the grave robbers from San Juan County that I posted a month back...

'Anasazi sickness': Relic raiders do more than mess with history
Looters also disrespect the dead, trample on tradition and invite bad luck -- or worse.

By Brandon Loomis
The Salt Lake Tribune
Updated: 07/18/2009 07:47:44 AM MDT
Aneth » A shell necklace scoured from ancient ruins makes for a rare collector's item in the white man's world and fetches thousands of dollars for a grave robber.
A clay pot with pre-Columbian black-and-white zigzags is a coveted mantel ornament in Santa Fe or Salt Lake City.
Here in Four Corners Indian Country, though, the cultural riches that federal authorities allege 24 traffickers plundered and peddled from public lands are anything but souvenirs.
"We aren't supposed to be digging up anything like that," Navajo medicine man David Filfred says. "It's the people who lived before us, and how they lived. They had their traditions, which deserve respect."
And disrespect for either human remains or the ancients' belongings brings deadly bad medicine. According to tribal lore, it can lead to bad luck, ill health, even death.
Filfred points to what many here on the Navajo Nation call the "Anasazi sickness" as a factor in the suicides of two men indicted last month on federal charges of illegally trafficking in ancient Puebloan, or Anasazi, artifacts.
"You'll get blacked out. Just faint," he predicts for those who disturb the dead. "It will cause something like, you don't care. Seems like there's no hope."
Other Four Corners cultures report similar spiritual repercussions or "bad energy" for artifact looters. Elders believe bones, pots, amulets and other items buried with the dead -- whether today's Navajos or yesterday's faded Puebloan cultures -- harbor spirits. These spirits command a wide berth and sicken those who disturb them, Filfred says. The torment may be either physical or mental.
Outsiders may scoff, but believers ask the same deference that other religions command.

Bless the living » Researchers who document the culture say the fear is deadly serious.
"The elders feel really strongly about it," explains Robert McPherson, a historian and longtime humanities instructor who teaches at the College of Eastern Utah's San Juan campus in Blanding. "The younger people are also offended, but perhaps for a different reason."
Younger Navajos, many of whom have been his students, are exposed to outside influences: schools, Christian churches, the modern Native American Church. Still, he says, they revere their heritage and want outsiders to leave their land, elders and graves unmolested.
Navajos still send their dead to the spirit world shrouded in the dignity of favored woven blankets and sacred turquoise regalia. It's a generous burial for the dead that also reflects graciously on the living, and it's not just for show.

Ten years ago it was Filfred's turn to bless a loved one and send him along to the spirit world. One of the medicine man's sons had died in the line of duty as a Navajo Nation policeman. He now is in a family cemetery here, near the Four Corners, wearing his ceremonial silver and turquoise, his favorite blankets and shells.
"It's stuff that leaves with the body," Filfred says. "When you do that, when you're taking a body back to the earth and you're sending the spirit back to the spirit world, you get a good strong blessing.
"If you dress them like that, then, in turn, you will get blessings."

Dead zone » Filfred's Aneth home, shared with extended family, is the same kind of plain rectangular box that lines both sides of his dusty lane, although it lacks the satellite TV receiver that most here have sprouted. Inside he slouches in an easy chair, wearing jeans, a white tank top, a maroon "New Country Auto Center" cap and leather high-top slippers worn through in the heel. He has sculpted his facial hair into a flowing goatee and wears turquoise on both wrists.
Later, consenting to a photograph, he dons a dress shirt and black cowboy hat with police pins commemorating his son. He adds a beaded necklace and a silver arm band with a turquoise slab the size of a mango pit.
On the paneled wall behind his chair hang two fly swatters, side by side, and a completed coloring page depicting Belle from Disney's "Beauty and the Beast."
Clearly a senior citizen, he won't divulge his age. "Too many moons," he laughs.
He fixes his eyes on his outstretched feet and explains the traditions he learned as a young man. One was a clear warning: Don't mess with the dead or their belongings -- even those who were not Navajo.
Archaeologists say many of the artifacts seized in the federal sting appear to have come from burials. In some cases, defendants allegedly found bones with relics. In others, scientists say, items such as intact pots were so well preserved that they likely came from well-protected graves.
"In our tradition," Filfred says, "it's just like this law. You're just not supposed to be disturbed. That's it."
Filfred's sister and two young women listen quietly around the living room as he explains the taboo to an outsider. His preschool-age grandnephew reclines opposite him wearing shorts and a "Navajo Nation Head Start" T-shirt and munches a bag of Frito-Lay's Funyuns.
For their own protection, Filfred says, traditional Navajos assume that where there are artifacts on the desert there will be bodies.
"If you did [disturb the dead]," he says, "then it will affect you somewhere, or you will get sick in certain ways: Your health, mind, mentally and physically.
"When a lady is pregnant, and if they go to ruins and see something -- especially the body or parts of bones -- it will affect the baby and get sick."

Respect if not reverence » Such mysticism is a mystery to T. Rockwell, a middle-age Navajo who grew up here but attended a church school in Farmington, N.M. Her parents never mentioned the old beliefs about the dead, she says, and medicine men who conduct regular traditional dances shield women from some of the practices.
Still, she knows about the "Anasazi sickness" -- she manages the Aneth Senior Center, where she is surrounded by dozens of elders daily -- and she knows it is said to afflict disrespectful "belaganas" (whites) and Navajos alike. She just doesn't know the details.
For her, it's enough just to show respect, and to expect the same from would-be looters.
"If they have something sacred -- what they consider sacred," she says, "I'm sure they wouldn't want us to go snooping around."
Robert McPherson interviewed Navajo elders, sometimes with an interpreter, for his 1992 Brigham Young University-published book, Sacred Land, Sacred View: Navajo Perceptions of the Four Corners Region . The volume is intended to pass on traditional beliefs to future Navajo generations.
The elders believe that even some relics unassociated with graves must not be disturbed, McPherson says. Pictographs and petroglyphs, for instance, carry a link to the person who drew them.
"You don't know what they were thinking," he says. "By me putting my hand on it, it invites that spirit to come have an effect on [me], usually negative."
Beliefs differ among clans and regions of the Navajo Nation, McPherson says.
Other modern cultures also grew from the Four Corners and have distinct views of antiquities. While only some Navajo clans claim a link to the Anasazi or ancient Puebloans, the Hopis of Arizona draw a direct line.
"They regard these remains as being their direct ancestors," says Greg Johnson, assistant professor of religious studies at the University of Colorado. "They have more of a stewardship mission. They regard themselves as caretakers of the dead."

How to heal » Federal agents in Salt Lake City are storing an undercover operative's purchased artifacts from the sting and, in one case, the entire family collection of artifacts. Blanding doctor James Redd, 60, killed himself last month the day after he was indicted in the raid. His wife, Jeanne, 59, later pleaded guilty to seven trafficking charges and agreed to forfeit even those relics obtained legally on private lands. The couple's daughter, Jericca, 37, admitted to three felonies.
On July 7, agents and archaeologists confiscated two moving vans full of boxed artifacts from the Redd home.
A second defendant, 56-year-old Steven Shrader of Santa Fe, N.M., killed himself after last month's indictment while visiting his mother in Shabbona, Ill.
Federal law requires that those items considered culturally significant or associated with burials be repatriated to a tribe of possible relation: Navajo, Hopi, Zuni or Ute.
Johnson studies repatriation cases and says modern Pueblo Indians -- the Zunis of New Mexico and the Hopis -- are sticklers for the law because they view items buried with human remains as sacred.
"They might be utilized [by the dead] in some future capacity," he says, "or at the minimum they symbolize their stature."
Pueblo Indians believe properly respected spirits of the dead will manifest themselves in life-giving forms such as desert rain clouds.
"If the dead are disturbed," Johnson says, "it monkey-wrenches with the cosmology in a profound way."
Like the Navajos, Utes teach that bones retain a spirit or "energy," says Forrest Cuch, a Ute who serves as Utah's director of Indian Affairs. His tribal elders suggested a "negative energy" may follow those who disturb the dead, but not necessarily the acute illnesses that the Navajos dread.
To the Navajo medicine man, there's just one way for looters to get well. They must recognize their errors and seek a ceremonial blessing. It requires sacred and secret herbs, Filfred says, previewing a scheduled visit from a New Mexico woman whose hair is falling out. She believes a childhood class tour of the Mesa Verde National Park ruins afflicted her.
Filfred will brew some of the herbs into a tea for her. He will burn others in her presence and then mix the powder with sheep fat to make a healing salve.
"We sing and pray," he says.
The seizures and headaches stop. Hopelessness vanishes. Blessings return.
bloomis@sltrib.com

Endless Spring Herb Garden

2009-07-02T16:06:00.005-06:00

Over the last couple of weeks, I had my doubts about my herbs this year. The weather has not seemed to be like it was last year when the herbs and few vegtables I plant really took off. This week, the flowers seemed to bloom and bees and grasshoppers are all over the plants. The bummer on the grasshoppers is they may eat as much as they pollinate! The returning plant I have is Italian basil. It died out in the winter and returned from the roots of the previous generation (plus some from last year's seed). Also, cilantro and dill came back from seed as well as some of the seed I planted. I planted Cayenne peppers because I could not find the potted Serrano peppers I usually plant.

Last week, EVERYTHING seemed to come to flower and look like it will survive to bear fruit by Lughnasadh or perhaps a bit later.

All of the things I plant or grow from the previous year are marked “full sun” and require sun at least 8 hours a day and well-drained soil. I went out of my way this year to add sand to the soil in an area where I have full sun and have watered the plants as needed. I have also had to use a liquid fertilizer on top of the compose mix in the soil at the new spot! The plants are NOT doing as well as in the shaded spot near my house that I have been using the last few years.

Is it because the soil is better after the years of growth, the “full sun” recommendation is not strictly true or have the plants decided this is where they will grow and do well?

Reflecting on the Season

2009-07-01T16:28:00.003-06:00

The Summer Solstice is the time of year when the sun is the farthest north on the horizon (from our point of view) and the hours of daylight are the longest. This is often called “Mid-Summer” in the British Isles because the astronomical date falls at a time between the warming of Spring and receding and harvests of Fall that bracket the summer season in a two season calendar. On the current calendar, the date (usually June 20 to 22, depending on when the above astronomical conditions are met) is marked as the summer solstice or the “beginning of summer”. But in past years, even Salt Lake City newscasters realize summer is already apparent by this date. This is when the sun is at its peak and nature is flourishing.

This year, summer was not fully apparent on June 20, when the astronomy was marking the time. The skies were cloudy and rain was pounding some parts of southern Utah to the point of localized flooding. In its own way, that shows the monsoon influence of summer, but rain and cool conditions have lasted well into the season in a way that makes me call this the Endless Spring. My garden shows recent flowering, but the planted garden always seems to bloom later than the native plants around them. This year, part of the reason was not getting things planted because freezing nights continued past May!

It was interesting when I made my annual trip to Parowan Gap to see the solar alignment. The Paiute dancers and musicians showed their skill and a bit of their heritage. The lecture from Nal Morris went off in spite of early fear high winds would end it early. (The wind seemed to bother the lecturer more than the Paiutes!) Clouds were dense all around the area, but sun broke through at the Gap. When everyone moved to the east where the cairns marked the alignment of the Gap and summer solstice sun, the sky looked clear but there were clouds on the horizon. The sun set with a spectacular red sky and color effects that could not be ignored. One elderly Paiute woman was disappointed that the clouds did not show the Tobats face silhouette in the sun. I suggested not worrying about the astronomical calendar and watching again the next day. The sun would be only slightly farther south and the next day better weather was expected; not to mention there would be fewer people. She laughed at that point, because she was already teasing the lecturer about his dependence on computers and calendars. Her family may well have been out there the next evening!

Most of the time, I celebrate the seasons some place with a natural setting where the season can show me what is happening. Usually, I do this alone just because I have not connected with people that do the same thing.

The weekend after the actual solstice, I met some people that were having a seasonal ritual and celebration in the mountains near Leeds, Utah. I took some time off early from work and found I really did not consider how I was going to do the initial introduction after I got to the site. I arrived at the time scheduled and found I was a bit early and did not see the number of people (or vehicles) I expected. I thought I missed a change of location and went on a canyon and stream hike instead for a couple of hours. When I worked my way out of the canyon, I found there WERE people at the meeting spot and I came in late for their ritual. They called the quarters as I do to both synchronize and attune with the elements. (See earlier writing from spring for that discussion.) They did a group ritual celebrating the season and closed with a jump through smoke of sage wands to represent jumping through the fire for cleansing and purification. I introduced myself and shared mead and food I brought for the occasion. There was mention about Pagan Time and people said they saw me in the area as they were getting ready. The group of over a dozen people and I drove to a nearby campground and had good song, laughs and visited in the forest that was cooler than the low desert around Leeds! Even coming late, the celebration of the season felt more complete for me than previous years, even though we did not really talk about “Pagan stuff” to any great degree. Just being in the forest under a waxing moon with people enjoying the same thing was good.

I try to separate the work and those connections and my exploration of my beliefs. The way I write these posts surely points to this tendency. The people I met welcomed me as the bearer of good mead and food, we chatted and enjoyed the time together and they did not throw me out when I disclosed that I was not a professional poet, musician, artist or New Age merchant. I am sure it would not go the other way were I to walk in to work proclaiming my interest in nature religion. In my head, I have a picture of the 1931 film “Frankenstein” where the local villagers burn down the windmill with the creature inside. (And there a foundation sits where my house used to be…) It would not be quite that bad, but not by much. It was good to have time where I could talk with people and not worry if views not matching my neighbors would cause friction. That could be my personal growth for the season!

Thoughts on Artifact theft in the news

2009-06-11T22:43:00.002-06:00

I bury my ancestors with the things they used in life so they will have the joy on the other side that they shared while here.
I bury my ancestors so they have time to rest before coming back again. They are close to their home where they lived and share their wisdom with the living.
I bury my ancestors in a special way to honor them and show what they meant to me…

I look across the land and wonder who lived here before I came. There are signs of those who came before, but no one to tell me what the signs mean. Occasional artifacts and stone tools are visible on the surface and dwellings in caves and under overhangs give some hint to how people lived before my time. I look but don’t dare take anything with me. It seems wrong somehow. Others have before me, but I sit in this shaded alcove with all of the stuff of people’s lives scattered around by people who have removed their stuff and imagine a man much like myself making a living and living his life.

Others take the artifacts as a piece of the past to be possessed and touched. They have value for their uniqueness and artistry, but something is missing when these artifacts leave the ground in which they were left. Laws have been written to preserve these treasures that are irreplaceable and recently people have been charged with taking these artifacts. A treasure from the past is stolen. The only things left after years of predation by “treasure hunters” that can show where and how people lived in this land and WHERE they made their homes and followed their beliefs are the broken pieces deemed to have no value.

Some of the people think the theft of artifacts is NOT theft, but just a hobby. They have done it before and think the Government has a short attention span. Punishments were light and they were the heroes of the community. But the Native people continue to press for justice and the consciousness has been raised to the issue. “If someone dug up your relative just for the rings that they wore, what would you think of that?” it is explained. But the pot hunters say they are not hurting anyone; but they are. Their selfishness takes something from the living that can never be replaced just to decorate a mantle and they ignore the intent of the people who honored the dead from whom they steal.

As I ponder some of these thoughts with the incident out of San Juan County, I read that a particular suspect was charged in a previous Federal case related to the theft of artifacts. He was also charged with a State law of desecration of human remains. Although the case was twice dismissed by a local judge, the Utah Court of Appeals repeatedly resubmitted the case. He pled no contest and paid a fine. This week Doctor James Redd was arrested and served with a Federal Grand Jury indictment for the theft of artifacts and theft of Government property. I read this evening Doctor Redd apparently committed suicide. I am sorry for the family and truly hope Doctor Redd will find satisfaction in the next life and will meanwhile rest in peace. This, I feel, was the wish of the people whose remains he dug up and the desire of those who buried the artifacts he found so interesting and profitable. He should have been able to tell his story.

When the last artifact is taken, the ancestors who were shown great honor will be forgotten.
When the last artifact is taken, a piece of the past that can teach the young and show grown-ups how other people have lived closer to the Earth will just be an oddly shaped bowl for knick-knacks on some counter or desk.
When the last artifact is taken, the people then living will find themselves superior to all who came before them because the ancestors have nothing more to say.
When the last artifact is taken, all that will be left to show the past will be what we now call trash.
When the last artifact is taken, the Earth will still speak and make her presence known. But those who lived a part of the Earth (instead of apart from her) will have no voice.

Scotland Trip

2009-06-10T20:53:00.002-06:00

Too much of the time was spent in cities; Glasgow, Fort William, Inverness and Edinburgh. Although cities have their own vibe, it is often hard to distinguish that from the pulse of the natural world.

I found, though, that where I traveled green space was considered important. In Edinburgh, there was a "wildlife sanctuary" that was right in old town south of the castle surrounded by streets and paths. It was only about an acre, but had an abundance of bird life and
apparently other animals. It also had an effect on tourists and locals alike. Also Princess Garden park in the middle of this populace city seemed to be appreciated and not a magnet for crime compared to many American parks.

The history of Scotland is filled with clan and external warfare. Many castles have been repeatedly destroyed and reconstructed. Yet there are stoneage passage tombs that are, if not venerated, at least left alone. The Balnuaran of Clava graves and the Corrimony tomb were
interesting in their excavated and (partially) reconstructed form. At least as interesting were the many nearby mounds that LIKELY have tombs and artifacts but are mostly left alone, even by the farmers and ranchers working their land. (I saw one cut to form a cattle trough and one cut by a parking lot.)

People seemed to live more simply and puzzled over my need for air conditioning. I was fortunate that the rain I expected was minimal and it was warm, 75F or better. Scotland went back to rainy/foggy conditions and 65F temperature after I left...

I found a pagan shop in Glasgow; 23 Enigma. The proprietor saw my being American was different but that I didn't see the numerological significance of 23 made her feel I was new or just a tourist. The DarwinPagan handle should indicate my view blends science with the
spiritual. This came up again while I browsed greenman effigies. She spoke (in Gaelic and English) with a couple who wanted spell advice for having a baby girl. The proprietor offered some stones and color correspondences and suggested the wife ask the goddess for a girl. But
she said in the end children are precious and should be cherished regardless. (Good Advice) After the couple left, I suggested the view of science that differences in sperm result gender differences. This is the irony of Henry VIII wanting boys and conceiving girls by
different women. So perhaps having the husband play a role in the magic might be of help. She felt differently and dismissed the scientific (and male involved) view completely and felt it was more the will of the goddess. I appreciated her views and enjoyed the discussion.

In Edinburgh, I found a shop called the Wyrd Shop. Wyrd is old english meaning fate (Wikipedia). The male partner owner told a story. He was looking for a store site and was driving up Castlegate on the historic and scenic Royal Mile. He saw a sign saying this room was for let.
When the landlord showed the room, there was a goddess symbol left on the wall left as what the landlord felt was an art object left by the last renter. So the shopowner felt this was auspicious; fate. As we talked, I apologized for the S&L/bank crisis and rap music for their effect on the world as a representitive American. Both owners laughed and the female owner made a pseudo-Catholic sign saying I absolvo. I really enjoyed this shop and now feel I should have spent more time.

Every trip makes me feel I missed something...

Gone to Scotland

2009-05-19T18:06:00.001-06:00

I will be leaving for Scotland by the end of the week. For most people, that would mean fewer posts! For me, there may be more posts with less text. I can use a PDA to access FREE WiFi hotspots where I can mail to the site. But I find it hard to compose any more than a few paragraphs on a PDA. Also, I have already found I can not add photos well using the Win CE browser; the sites I use do not allow attachments without a full-sized version of Explorer. But I may be able to compose, edit and resize on the PDA to minimize internet café time and still get a few pictures up while I travel.

There certainly will be things that strike a Pagan tone while I am sightseeing. As I will be flying solo, sending to the blog will be where I will present these observations. Stone circles and other pre-history, like Pict engravings, are on my hit list!

I have some guilt about the carbon foot-print of air travel. But I will not be in the plane alone and console myself that Scotland has some of the best bus and train connections in the world!

Summer is Coming

2009-05-07T18:07:00.004-06:00

I have been slammed by work and wish I had something profound that was fit to print. But often the magic is in the little things! For the two that are signed up to follow these articles and others that follow without signing up, here is one:

There are some mile-stones that are not celebrations or rites which show the transition from what in recent seasons have been a short Spring to Summer transition. There are a number of Southern Utah habits that show these-
- Changing from flannel sheets to sheer sheets
- The first mowing of the lawn
- Getting ahead of the weeds that will eventually fill the yard
- Having weeds and lawn clippings to refresh my compost
- Leaving the doors open and the house feels comfortable and not like a refrigerator
- Starting the garden
- Trying to decide whether to give up the lawn altogether and replant with rocks!

My neighbors may not be very accepting of worshipping Gods and Goddesses that reflect nature or a spirituality that celebrates the cycles of nature. It is interesting that I can go to Robert’s Arts and Crafts (a craft shop well-known in Utah) and find seasonal items that sell well and show others in my area share a celebration of the seasons. The frames for wreaths and many seasonal items could be shared between the pioneer-spirited Mormons and many that celebrate nature spirituality. Many of the plastic flowers, ferns and leaf items and foam things seem to miss the point.

But there is something universal that seems oddly twisted at Roberts Crafts that my neighbors seem to feel. They might not burn my house down if I put out a pentacle or Brigid’s cross, but the talk over-the-fence would all but stop. I find it interesting to notice how many of my neighbors seem to engage in folk medicine and home cures, sell honey as a curative, and have their own secret soothing tea recipes. But they would all but have a heart attack if one were to make a comparison with a pagan outlook or that what they are doing in connection with nature might not be all that different from what many indigenous peoples do or what pagan celebrants recapture.

There are a number of Pagan bloggers that seem to point out the differences between mainstream society and them. There may be something to be gained by the us versus them comparisons. But as the season warms and people go back outside in droves, I want to look deep for what we share and enjoy what we see in common! Feel free to comment!

Attuned versus Synchronized

2009-04-12T20:17:00.005-06:00

This was Easter weekend, 2009. It is almost exactly between Spring Equinox (Ostara) and May Day (Beltain) this year. Most people do not realize how Easter is set on the calendar. There is a general formula that makes Easter the Sunday after the first full moon after the Spring Equinox. This full moon is when Passover begins. As I check against the ubiquitous Wikipedia, I find there are some differences between astronomical rules and established church rules and Georgian and Julian calendars used, but this seems to work most years including this one. I see this as being synchronized with a seasonal observance. Many Easter celebrations, looking for eggs, the Easter bunny, the green grass of Spring in the baskets, reflect an echo of attuning with the season from some time in the past. I observe the celebrations of the past because I feel these are more attuned to the actual seasons. But this too can be more synchronized with a calendar date instead of attuned with the season.

As I was looking at snow in my yard in southern Utah on and at times after the Spring Equinox, I could see a need to welcome spring with a celebration and hope it would be here soon. The Equinox that sets the celebration date IS an astronomical benchmark where the hours of dark and light are equal, when the sun crosses the celestial equator. For those that follow astrology (of which I am skeptical), this is the transition between Pisces and Aries (even though astronomical procession has all of the signs off by almost a full sign and the sun is on the Aquarius side of Pisces at this time). But it is hard for me to feel attuned with the season when the natural signs of Spring are not yet here. Up until today, it was still feeling cold much of the time, with little teases of warmer weather and some green coming up. This unstable weather seems to be the “feeling of Spring” in my part of the world.

I found myself camping near Zion National Park this weekend. The rain was sporadic and there were places where snow was threatening at the higher elevations where I find myself. As the sun set last night, the temperature dropped and it felt like snow would come before morning. There was a drizzling rain and the small fire a friend and I had was smoky from the dead but damp wood. After a time, the fire dried the wood and the fire caught enough that it shrugged off the misting rain. I was able to cook a bit and we were eating as the rain stopped for a bit and the clouds cleared to show a bright sky. It was cold, but it cleared and the threat of snow seemed to lift.
The next morning, the sun was not over the east ridge and all of our gear was covered with frost. The fire had been banked so there were some embers left. My friend was able to rekindle it with dry wood kept out of the weather for the all-important morning coffee. As the fire flared, there was a fog coming from the direction of the Zion mesas. It was running down the valley and stopped within an easy walking distance of our camp.

Just after this picture was taken, the fog seemed to almost be inhaled back up the valley and the day was warm and bright like a spring day should be! After the last few weeks, I finally felt the renewal the “season” represents and felt attuned to spring. This reaffirmed for me that the Mother Earth is alive and I saw a part of Her that many people would miss! I treasure this moment and feel like Spring is here!

Springtime in Southern Utah

2009-03-23T23:22:00.002-06:00

Here in Cedar City, you know Spring is on the doorstep when the wind goes above 50 miles per hour and snow still comes down. The snow hit hard and fast, but did not last long. If one was trying to see Spring outside, this weekend would not have been the time!

Before the storm, I found a workshop in town with three Tibetan monks talking about the health and philosophical benefits of meditation. Although there was not a lot of meditation done, the philosophy was a large part of the discussion. The man leading the discussion was Geshe Thupten Dorjee. He had a lot to say about dispelling anger and reaching out with compassion. He suggested anger makes one ugly inside and out. As part of the meditation sequence, he suggested meditation as he was teaching had three forms; mindfulness, focus on a task and concentrating on an intellectual exercise. The exercise done in this workshop was essentially clearing one’s mind and “observing” one’s thoughts to get past the thoughts to see the mind behind them. As part of the discussion, he suggested a further intellectual meditation might be to examine one’s thoughts to dispel anger and replacing with compassion and reverence for life. The discussion about harming no one and no thing was similar to “An it harm none,” from Doreen Valiente and Lady Gwen Thompson. The discussion about having compassion for one’s enemies sounded similar to the “turn the other cheek” part of the Sermon on the Mount from the Bible. The discussion of compassion and non-resistance seemed to go against one person in the group, who was not shy about asking questions. In the context of the Chinese government’s atrocities in Tibet, she asked how one can be compassionate when the enemy is running over you with a tank; you would be morally correct but still flattened by the tank. I was curious about this point too, but might have been a bit less challenging with the question. Mr. Dorjee calmly answered that he only had control of himself and was “working on” the compassion for enemies. He related a story about a Lama that had been tortured for years and finally released. When this monk talked to the present Dali Lama, the monk was asked what his greatest challenge was. He said he almost died when he thought he lost his compassion. Given Mr. Dorjee’s biography, his parents were killed by the Chinese and he was forced at an early age to flee to India, it is a testament to his belief that he continues to strive for compassion. The lady asking the question and pressing for an answer did not seem convinced and instead asked how one could stand by when there is tremendous cruelty in the world. Mr. Dorjee reluctantly said one has to survive and should defend yourself, but the decision should be made from compassion for life and not out of anger. That is a tall order!

The discussion can be just as pointed when looking at “an it Harm none, do what thou wilt” while there is still violence and strife in the world. Compassion over anger and Non-resistance versus self defense may be the challenge of our time.

Pagan Warriors?

2009-03-03T21:41:00.001-07:00

I am sort of a Later Day Pagan. I was raised with some exposure to Christian Science when I was growing up. There are a number of mystical elements in Christian Science, including miraculous healing that allowed my grandmother to live to her late nineties. Until the very end, the only times she went to the doctor was to give birth to my father and aunt. But I found my faith was never as strong as hers for many different reasons. I tended to be rather skeptical of the distance between Christ and the people that believed in Him (capitalized out of respect for my parent’s beliefs). Even though believers do not claim such a distance, I rarely found the beliefs speaking to me. For a religious belief to be of comfort and explain the big questions; the meaning of life, where do we go after death, how are we connected to the rest of the world, I feel it has to be personally experienced.

So saying, I find comfort in many Pagan views of the ground under my feet, the air I breathe, the sun on my face, the water that falls as rain and the spirit in all these living things being alive in a way I can experience. But I admit to not having a direct experience with a specific Pagan tradition either. Maybe that will change as I grow older and meet more people. I do experience these things on my own and value them in a way that comforts me as many of my neighbor’s feelings about their religion and community comforts them. The sound of a water fall sings to me as a choir hymn does for them, and someday I hope they can respect that. As I was out near Cedar City east of town a couple of years back, I ran into a group of families with a sign directing people to a pavilion and picnic tables for a Goddess gathering for the coming of Spring. Although there were many men in the group, I did not see the same level of representation for male symbols. It might have been I just did not talk to them long enough, but I started down a trail of thought…

My neighbors have their stories that outline many of their religious beliefs. There are the battles between the Nephites and Laminites, two lost tribes of Israel who fight for supremacy in the ancient Americas. As the Nephites descended into wickedness, the Laminites overcame them and were said to expand over the American continent. Many Mormons consider the Native American peoples to have descended from the Laminites. There is not a lot of physical proof for this point of view. Archaeology suggests that, even though the stories date to what the storyteller felt were ancient dates of the New Testament era and before, Native American cultures were well developed by that time. But the telling of these stories supply lessons to be learned and passed on in the telling and home teaching.

There was once a group of people from the Isle of Erin called the Tuatha Dé Danann. They were an ancient race that had many special tools, many related to the land from which they came but were found beneficial on Erin. Some of these were the Stone of Fal (that I touched at the site of Tara), the Sword of Nuada, the Spear of Lugh, and the Cauldron of Dagda, the “good god”. The People of Danu overcame the Fir Bolg, but were so impressed by their valor, they allowed the Fir Bolg to retreat to the west. After a time, the Sons of Mil arrived to challenge the Followers of Danu. After many battles, final victory came down to a challenge. The Milesians were told to withdraw past the nineth wave and if they could land again, they would have control of the Island. Through cleverness and tenacity, three brothers did survive the onslaught of the battle and magic thrown against them, but all others died in the waves… These stories inspire many today and teach many lessons, but also have very little physical proof. I recognize the cultural importance of these stories and find the Stone to be a powerful cultural icon (and kind of warm to the touch).

Although the current Pagan beliefs draw me to seeking to connect to the universe around me, there is something lost in most discussions that are alive in many past stories and those of my neighbors. One can, in addition to celebrating the changing of the seasons and the living Earth as the Goddess, also recognize if not celebrate the stories of warriors and and past struggles to learn from these stories. The lesson I see that should not be missed is how warriors (both out here in the world and as archetypes) work with focus and determination to better themselves, to perfect and use learned or inherited skills, and to focus on a particular enemy or challenge. Although seen as distructive, warriors also meet challenges and show the lessons of honor and loyalty. (Codes of Chivralry and Ways of the Warrior are examples.) The most timeless lesson may be that although there have always been wars and challenges that test warriors, those require discreation and descernment because there is never a war or challenge without cost.

Further Reading:
Wiccan Warrior and Full Contact Magick by pseudonym Kerr Cuhulain

Welcome to my Southern Utah Pagan blog!

2009-02-26T17:28:00.000-07:00

I hope this will stimulate discussion within and perhaps outside southern Utah related to pagan and alternate spirituality. Here in southern Utah, religion is of highest importance in most people’s dialog. When I first moved here, people would introduce themselves, ask where I was from and end with asking what my religion is! On the last question, my views are growing and expanding. I usually answer that I am undecided overall, but open to discuss all. People with jobs and interaction within the community would be hard pressed to admit to having Pagan views or any views outside Christianity in general and the Mormon faith in particular.

When I was taking Native American Studies in college, there were discussions about most religions being tied to a place as well as a people. Many of my contemporaries found comfort in Indian beliefs because they were closer to nature. But the Native American practitioners felt that people of European backgrounds were out of place following their cultural beliefs because they did not understand the traditions and history that built them. Now with neo-Pagan religions surfacing, there is a focus on many old religions, but the place is not the same as where the culture originated. So we are left accepting that we are finding spiritual value were we are and forming some thing new from the bones of the old.

Overall, I am very skeptical of most religious views and tend to lean to analysis over faith. But there are some questions that religion answers that science does not. This, to me, is where the discussion should start, not where it should end. As an example, science is daily fine-tuning the discussion of where we came from. Cosmology has made some very well constructed models that indicate the universe as we now see it is about 13.7 billion years old. The “stuff” of the universe has been made from previous generations of living and dying stars, culminating in the present table of elements and where we now sit on a planet within an over 4 billion year old solar system. We have evolved over many millions of years of selection and extinction to the point we are now. This can be either directly observed or inferred from the fossil record.

On the other hand, science is not currently equipped to discuss where we go after we die, what makes up our “soul” or what, if anything, we share with the world around us.

Then there is some overlap that makes for some interesting discussions as well. In the 1960s after the pictures of Earth from space were published, there was a lot of discussion about the Earth as a living organism. The book that popularized this outlook was Gaia: A New Look at Life on Earth by Dr. James Lovelock. This hypothesis sees the dynamic systems of Earth’s atmosphere, oceans and soils forming an interactive relationship that forms and sustains life. From this, other metaphors form. I have heard people suggest that we human inhabitants of Earth should work to be the white blood cells of the planet that work to protect and preserve the health of Earth instead of being the cancer that may eventually kill it. This discussion to me is both speaking the language of science and embracing a unique and modern statement of faith.

I see religion as a combination of ritual observances and an attempt to explain the currently unexplainable in a way that helps give meaning to life experiences and also give a set of ethics to live by. As such, many current Pagan beliefs do this as well or better than more mainstream religions. As I look at many current systems that call themselves Pagan, I need to say right up front that I see them as modern. Wicca, for instance, is a reconstruction of what a few people in the 1950s saw as folk beliefs leading back into the early times. But Wicca as currently practiced and written about is modern. Does the value depend on having an unbroken history? I feel it does not need history to validate the present. If the beliefs give comfort and answer the big questions, that should be enough. That said, here are some of my thoughts:
1) There is a soul separate from the body that is tied to the current of the universe. Many people see the body as a machine that the soul drives and the soul is released when the machine ceases to function. There are others that suggest the body reflects the soul and the soul can heal the body, but is separate from it. Both may be true to some degree.
2) Everything around us has a life force that we interact with. So trees, rocks, the ground we tread and the air we breathe is alive. People around us just do not see or feel it in the same way.
3) We can feel this connection and do things that foster the connection to the living world! I, as an example, feel more “alive” in the natural world and feel more “spiritual” out in the world than in the places we construct for our work-a-day world. As a matter of faith, I can tune into the real nature of the world and celebrate the world around me. The changing of the seasons and turning of the moon show a progression and I try to follow and join that progression.
4) We go SOMEWHERE after we die. We may use a metaphor to describe it. It may be right here were we are, just at a different phase of understanding. With so much undone, I hope one goes somewhere to wait a time and be reincarnated to try again to achieve what needs to be done before joining the more eternal living world. Carl Sagan said "If some good evidence for life after death were announced, I'd be eager to examine it; but it would have to be real scientific data, not mere anecdote.... Better the hard truth, I say, than the comforting fantasy." But we all strive to find some comfort in survival or at least transition after death. What if we formed a soup of personalities in some fog of energy encasing our planet and, when another person is born a part of that soup goes into a new life? That would not quite be reincarnation…
5) The mind is the tool of connecting with the universe, not the tools or the ritual. This is the main thing that frustrates me about some forms of Pagan and other religious belief. If the ritual is done perfectly but without the mind focused on a result or open to the world around us, it will fail. But if there is a sincere but imperfect (or more spontaneous) ritual or observance, that may work better to focus the intent or allow one to feel part of the whole.

I look forward to seeing any responses.